USED CONDOMS

Recently, I have been used for one more time.

It doesn’t have to do if it happened on purpose or by accident.

The pain is the same. The bad feeling is strong too.

Overconfidence. I trusted someone very much; I loved him with all my heart. I though he has a special heart and mind.

HaaaaaaH. Life is a bitch.

And my reward was betrayal. I didn’t deserve this for sure, but what can I do? It happened.

As the Chinese say “you don’t have to feel sad in two cases: in the one that you can fix the things and in the other that you cannot fix them”.

But my problem is that I am not Chinese and I am not wise. I am just a common person and I have feelings. And when someone hurts me, I feel pain. And if I love him much, I feel deep pain.

Maybe you will find me exaggerated, but I feel like a condom after this. You use it and when you don’t need it anymore, you throw it to the garbage.

No one goes near to a used condom to express his sympathy. It is stayed alone and used in the basket.

I don’t like the big words and I am not a revengeful person, but I believe in universal justice. Some call this justice God. My problem is not the name of the justice, but the justice. And I believe that sooner or later, we all pay for what we do.

I don’t want to take any kind of revenge. Really I don’t, because this will not erase the fact and will not eliminate my pain.

Love is something wonderful. There is not something that anyone cane give and there is not something that anyone can appreciate.

I just want to punch his face and not to see this person again in my life.

But you know, when you give love, you cannot believe why they don’t want it. And it is more difficult to understand why you have to pay for giving love. We you have to be punished. If you cannot appreciate love, at least don’t give pain to the other.

It is like someone takes a part of my body away, using violence. And I don’t know that if the pain or the shock is stronger.

And the problem is that I was blamed. The situation turned this way, that I had to apologize.

I think that I spent energy without a reason and this situation doesn’t deserve to stay on it and spend time on it.

HOW EASY IS TO SAY BIG WORDS!

But what I took from this life lesson –“every cloud has a silver lining”- is that I will never leave anyone anymore to make me feel like used condom again.

And as my favorite Scarlett O’Hara used to say: “As God I will never trust and open my heart to anyone, from now on”.

Thank you for everything. I really appreciate you for this. I will remember it forever. J