MISUNDERSTOODING!

Every year, near Christmas and New Year’s Evening I feel a great grief and sadness. It is the time that I count my life during the 356 previous days.

My criterion is very strict and usually I find myself without any progress. I found my life stuck and my interests unfulfilled.

And this grief comes to hound these days that usually are days of happiness and rest. These days we leave the spirit to have fun and the body to have rest.

But me, not! I start counting and I find the “bill” defective.

It is my character. I never stop. I always want to do something new. I need new thrills to continue my life.

I have to compare my life with someone else’s life to see that I have done “something”.

I have to see other people’s laziness to understand my progress.

I don’t know what is wrong with me. Maybe the fact that I never stop to find new interesting and I want them to… walk during the year and don’t stay unfulfilled wishes.

But some things don’t want to walk and unfortunately I can do nothing. The situation is beyond my control.

This is what actually makes me lose my courage and think that the previous year was lost. Some things are beyond my control, but for me it is impossible this. I want to have the control of my life. The fact that I have to ask for someone else’s help or to count on

Someone else except myself is killing me.

And unfortunately, passing the time, I realize that I need help in my life as I need to wait much time until some of my dreams come true.

I know that putting me on the wall and shooting me is not the correct way, but that’s me.

But I thought for this year to make an exception.

I decide to make my list of “done in 2011” counting the positive things, that means what have I done and not what I hadn’t done.

I need some rest and some recompense in my life and no one else except me is going to give it to me.