TRAPPED BY LIFE

Every day I feel more and more trapped by life. And when I look around me, I see more and more people trapped by their life.

Persons with abilities, dreams, hunger to create, ideas… that cannot live. Life traps them.

As far as concerns me, I am trapped. I AM TRAPPED.

I always do things that I don’t want. Like a magic hand moves just a millimeter my target and I can never find it. And I feel like Scarlett O’Hara “nothing in my life cam as I wanted”.

All my life is full of obstacles that I cannot overpass them and I change my road. I change my road, because I have to move on, to continue my way.

And I see that the same thing happens to my friends, my colleagues, my neighborhoods…

People are trapped by the mentality or the time, the customs of the country, the narrow minded man world. Trapped by fears, unfulfilled wishes...

People that make dreams and when it’s time to make them true, life comes and stopped them. A professor that doesn’t want to lose his “chair” (even if he is 100 years old) stops the evolution of a young student. Relatives that still live in the 19^th century decide for the future of another family member.

Colleagues full of complexes never accept a new idea, if it doesn’t derive from their mind. And they are trapped by their personal fears too “Am I enough for this position? Maybe another with better education come and takes my position. Maybe this new idea is dangerous for me”.

People want to travel and the law of the country doesn’t permit them. People want to live in another country and again the law of the new country doesn’t permit them. People want to marry, but their traditions are different.

Invented differences make our life a HELL. Differences obtruded by complexes, interest and power.

We are coming to this life without our willing, they send us to school without our willing, we make dreams, we plan our own life, we try to be prepared for it as best as we can and after this real life start.

You go “out” and the trapping starts. You have to handle the real life (rent, bills, expenses of any kind) and if you still have the energy for dreams, then, OK, you are free to make them true. And even if the real life doesn’t stop you, someone else will come to your way to do it: a competitive companion, a narrow minded person, a conservative, a villain person, an IDIOT. Always exists and insuperable obstacle.

We come to this life and someone plays with us. We start running, but in reality there is no term. There is no rope to cut. And if exists, only some of us see it and less cut it.

I don’t understand why we bring children to this world.

Day by day I see people that they cannot breathe. They try very hard to find a way and suddenly they are called to walk on another one.

I don’t know what to say. I am just trapped by life and I feel that all my friends are trapped too. I don’t care about me. In a way I used my “punishment”.

But I cannot stand the fact that I cannot do anything for my friends. I cannot help them. I spend nights crying and praying for them (because they believe in praying) and nothing changes. If I could shell my soul to the Devil (like Faust) to help them, I would do it). But I cannot. I cannot help! I cannot help!

We shall be all our life trapped.

I cannot stand it. I cannot see any light. I just see the dark of the tunnel. I hope that them one day they’ll see the light.

I am an optimistic person, even if you don’t believe it. But I am. And I continue my life, walking my way (or the way I can walk on), hoping that I could walk on it as much time as it possible, before life changes my route one more time.

Maybe this is my way of resistance or my way to see some light in my own personal trap. I don’t know. The only thing I know is that someone has to try to find out the medicine for “trapping”.