Foxy

Foxy is the first person I met here in Cairo. He is man.

Our meeting became under specific circumstances. He touched my hands.

I was hungry for love? Maybe.

Or maybe it was my personal idea for touching. I consider touching more emotional than sex.

I don’t know. I liked him.

He is not beautiful. He has great humor and I like it. He is smart and educated. He is almost honest. I cannot understand. His attitude confuses me.

He is sexy undoubtedly. I like him for this too.

We love the same things, we hate the same things. We read the same books, we think in the same way…

Foxy hurt me and I hurt Foxy. He still hurts me.

He lied to me and sometimes he still does it. I don’t know why. Maybe it is the difference of mentality. Maybe this pushes him to act as he does.

But I still love him. He has all the defects that any man has.

“When I want and if I want”. I don’t like this. This is not his fault. I am always flexible with the persons I love. I don’t put limits. If someone respects my personal limits without I put them, he becomes my friend forever.

If he passes these limits because he doesn’t “see” them, he will be always in my life, but with a lower emotion.

Why I didn’t put my limits with Foxy? Maybe because I liked him or maybe because -finally- I deeply understand him. I understand every good or bad thing he does or thinks. I recognize his motivations, his fears. Everything.

But he doesn’t know. So he tries to cheat me and he hurts me. Man’s EGO.

When he talks and explains, everything is ok.

  

But Foxy cannot talk easily. It is very difficult for him to talk. This is difficult for every man.

I don’t know why I keep him in my life.

He helps me very much and he arranges all my things. With him I am not a “stranger” in the city. He teaches me a lot of things and takes me with him everywhere.

Maybe I (still) love him. When he was going to Tahrir Square during the Revolution, I was calling him crying to protect himself.

Maybe I know that he is honest and helpful and has a good heart.

My relationship with Foxy is blurred. He always confuses me. But every time he reveals another part of his character that I like it. I can confess everything to him and he’ll understand. Even if he doesn’t, he’ll try.

Maybe he loves me, I don’t know.

I give him “tie break” all the times. I don’t know for how long.

He makes feel good any time I see him.

I wish he loved me and be friends forever. But even if he never loves me deeply as a real friend, he makes my life better any time I see him. And this is enough for me.

Isn’t it GOOD LUCK?